The big red arrow of nostalgia

By reading many a article on gaming websites and listening to people wax lyrical about the past, I have noticed many things about gamers and gaming. One of which is the misty-eyed way old-school 2d beat ’em ups are discussed. It’s like the glue that held together the childhood of most 80s babies that still pretend they’re super-soldiers on a regular basis.*

Not me, though. Never could play them for more than 15 minutes without getting bored.
Even playing Castle Crashers and Scoot Pilgrim vs The World, two recent 2d beat ’em ups, I had had just enough after playing through the demo. Perhaps it’s because I’m a 90’s child and grew up with one-on-one fighters like Street Fighter 2 which had a deep combat system that craps electric turds all over the likes of Final Fight.

Or it could be those lovely rose-tinted glasses. Yeah, they make everything better. Even jehri curls. But then again taste matures in other areas, why not in games. There’s a reason I don’t like Linkin Park anymore. Also, there must be a point where even the most glossy-eyed of gamers must realise the games of their childhood were not so brilliant. Perhaps not so much a point as much as a wooden panel.


That said, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying something more than you should (mostly**). Who am I to run into your house and yell ‘stop having funnnn!!1!1!’ For example, I spent a lot time playing Super Mario World and the Donkey Kong Country series as a child, so I probably enjoy a platformer more than the average gamer. I also enjoy jumping around like a rabbit on ritalin in every game with a jump button, much to the chagrin of my fellow players.

Of course, this whole bias could be because the only beat ’em up I had was Battletoads in: Battlemaniacs. Which had three nice and varied levels and then…

and then…

Fuck you, Battletoads.

*Don’t think I don’t see that nerf gun sticking out of you cupboard.

Answers: 1. An X-Wing body 2. An Indy car wheel 3. A bellend

**Arson for instance, should not be enjoyed too much. Or farting in bouncer’s faces.


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