2012 in Retrospect: A Year in Dirty Lyrics

2012 was a great year for music, with plenty of new music to please everyone’s tastes, not to mention the increased presence of Australian music thanks mostly to Tame Impala’s Lonerism and the US’s continued obsession with Gotye’s ’Somebody That I Used to Know.’ Yet despite all this quality, one thing that struck me was the amount of bawdy lyrics in some of my favourite songs from this year, usually heading straight to the gutter. So, here are my favourite potty-mouthed musings from 2012.

Macklemore and Ryan Lewis feat. Wanz – Thrift Shop

Draped in a leopard mink, girls standing next to me
Probably should’ve washed this, smells like R. Kelly’s sheets
Pisssssssss. …but shit, it was 99 cents

Some things will always be funny, like toddlers swearing, men that aren’t you being hit in the nads, and the fact that R. Kelly once peed on a minor.

Lana Del Rey – Cola

My pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola

If the prospect of spending some private time with the lovely Ms Grant wasn’t tantalising enough, we know now that her nether regions taste like a delicious fizzy drink instead of, you know, genitals.

OFWGKTA – Rella

Nigga don’t believe me, kiss your lady
And where you gonna get those heebie jeebies?
Nigga my dick stay way diseasey
I make it look easy

Since their inception, hip-hop fans can rely on the Odd Future gang for some off-colour gems, usually from ringleader Tyler, the Creator. Not that you should be proud of your diseasey dick, Tyler.

Ben Folds Five – Draw a Crowd

Oh-oh if you’re feeling small, and you can’t draw a crowd
Draw dicks on a wall

When introducing this song, Ben Folds says ‘that there are two types of bands, those that play and are successful and those that play and are not… those who aren’t wind up drawing dongs on the bathroom stall.’ So when you see a crudely drawn member staring at you as you pee, blame the shitty support act that played last week.

Die Antwoord – XPEN$IV $H1T

I rub my dick on expensive shit
I rub my dick on expensive shit
It’s like a dream come true
I’m living the dream bro
Rubbing my dick on expensive shit

What, you’ve never dreamt of rubbing your wang on a Porsche? Stop lying.

Kanye West ft. 2 Chainz, Big Sean & Pusha T – Mercy

Drop it to the floor, make that ass shake
Whoa, make the ground move, that’s an ass quake
Built a house up on that ass, that’s an ass state
Roll my weed on it, that’s an ass tray

Big Sean likes big butts. He cannot lie. He also likes to dedicate songs to them (as seen here). And everyone knows there is no better was to declare your love to someone (or their arse) than with puns. On this Kanye West track, Big Sean drops three glorious (or perhaps arse-stounding) puns in a row. It’s a good thing he didn’t go for a forth, it might make him sound ridiculous.

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